I was looking forward to a fresh start in 2022. Weren’t you? The shutdown in March 2020 – damn, almost two years ago — was tough on my barbershop, and recovery hasn’t been easy. Wearing a muzzle on my face… Read More ›
#ucalthisreality
The Parlor Tricks of Civilization as Relayed by a Mad Clerk in a Soda Shop
Listen up, ya hopefuls, have I a mouthful to chew. Find yourselves mistaken, once? Twice? Well, consider this, too … If your tongue is black for candy, if it lashes out for reasons hunger can’t explain, pay attention greedily my… Read More ›
Scientists implicated in vast conspiracy to provide cleaner air, water and soil
SEATTLE – A group of civic-minded billionaires revealed in a report published today that a widespread scheme has been perpetuated by scientists for decades to mislead members of the public into believing that their economic activity is causing irreparable harm… Read More ›
‘I remember you,’ says concert-hopping time traveler
LOS ANGELES – A 40-year-old single man who had been reported missing for a week emerged from his bedroom closet this morning and announced to concerned family, friends and members of his online community that he has safely returned from… Read More ›
‘Attitude Adjusters’ promise to make owners’ lives better
LANCASTER – A rare super bloom of wild poppies following record winter rains prompted tens of thousands of motorists to converge on a strip of desert hills an hour north of Los Angeles over the weekend to gaze at fields… Read More ›
Empathy tech to vet presidential candidates in 2020
SILICON BEACH – Voters heading to the polls to elect the next President of the United States will have the opportunity to preview the honesty and integrity of candidates, thanks to a breakthrough in empathy technology that allows users to… Read More ›
Device gives users ‘more time’ to explore virtual reality
SILICON BEACH — The hours people spend playing video games, scrolling through social media posts and reading articles online soon will dramatically decrease, thanks to a product launched this week that allows users to explore virtual reality in a ‘state… Read More ›
‘Zombie apocalypse’ delayed due to scientist’s renewed faith in humanity
SAUSALITO – The extinction of the species Homo Sapiens on Earth and its replacement with a world inhabited by mindless monsters will be postponed for another year, thanks to one scientist’s restored confidence in people. Cornelius Drake, 49, chief executive officer… Read More ›
Alien investigators: Earth is ‘ripe’ for invasion
SAN FRANCISCO – A group of astronomers, academics and engineers who defied their governments by working together secretly for years announced Tuesday they have conclusive evidence that an alien invasion of Earth is imminent and that drastic steps need to… Read More ›
Time traveler’s ‘boring’ message about future bums sci-fi fans
ESCONDIDO – A man claiming to be a visitor from the year 2084 addressed a crowd of curious bystanders on the footsteps of a local Buddhist retreat on Saturday to offer news about the state of the future, little of… Read More ›
The La-La Lander 