Master plan: Destroy Earth, kick-start ‘solar economy’

 

paul-chadeisson-03

Cities in the sky, as conceived here by artist Paul Chadeisson, might save humanity from itself, according to the President’s master plan to cope with a crumbling world.

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump declared his hopes today of transforming Earth into an inhospitable wasteland to trigger an economic boom that will migrate life of the home planet of humans to other worlds.

The announcement came Friday at a press conference after the Administration’s recent acknowledgement that, if unmitigated, Earth’s temperature will increase by seven degrees Fahrenheit by the year 2100.

Prior to the acknowledgement, the Administration denied that climate change from human activity is a threat to U.S. interests.

“I’ve worked very hard during my first term in office pretending global warming was a crackpot left-wing conspiracy and steamrolling environmental regulations – all for a grand purpose – to hasten the destruction of our world,” said the President.

”Thanks in part to these efforts, I am proud to confirm that our planet is indeed and irrevocably dying, presenting a unique and incredible business opportunity to colonize our solar system.”

The President laid out details of his master plan, called ‘Terra Incognito,’ during the press conference. The two-page report, created by public and private partnerships, calls for a ‘new era in American leadership’ that will ensure ‘human life and ingenuity thrives on other planets … even after failing on our own.’

The President’s plan includes:

  1. Sending an eccentric Japanese billionaire and his retinue of artists to outer space to capture visions of the moon and share them with humankind to inspire a new ‘solar economy’ based on tourism and interplanetary colonization.
  2. Terraforming Mars into a resort.
  3. Creating a fleet of floating cities that will settle rich Americans, or anyone else who can afford the ticket, on distant worlds.  
  4. Utilizing the proposed Space Force to defend American tourists/pioneers from all foes – ‘foreign, domestic and extraterrestrial.’
  5. Setting up a mining facility on Jupiter’s moon, Europa, to extract ‘Kyber crystals‘ to manufacture ‘lightsabers, Death Stars, and engines capable of faster than light travel … subsidizing America’s future intergalactic business ventures.’

“Once we accept the fact that Earth is a lost cause,” said the President at the end of the press conference, “the stars are the limit what we might accomplish in the cosmos. 

“My fellow Americans, I look forward to you joining me on this fabulous journey.”

Jamie Smith, Sept. 26, 2018

Advertisements


Categories: Environment & Health

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

Writing and other stuff

a sporadic account of things that matter to me.

LOWLIFE MAGAZINE

"Find what you love and let it kill you." – Charles Bukowski

GamerGirls & Guns

GamerGirls & Guns

Dab of Darkness Book Reviews

Audiobook reviews, Interviews, Giveaways, More

Latest news

fresh news from around

518-songofmypeople

A town everyone hates, yet no one leaves...

WyrdWanderers

Wyrd Wanderers - an eclectic mix of reflections, writings, etc. - whatever interests me

Sparkonit

Science - Simplified

Grady P Brown - Author

Superheroes - Autism - Fantasy - Science Fiction

The Dystopian Nation of City-State

A cruel, futuristic vision created by science fiction authors James Courtney and Kaisy Wilkerson-Mills. ©2013-2016. All Rights Reserved. All writings available through Amazon.

ligurinus

Manushaqe Muco's Blog

Barnaby Taylor

Have YOU joined the #VIROSWARM?

A Matter of Scale

Science & technology commentary

Shorts

Fast fiction in the superhero genre.

%d bloggers like this: