‘Radical’ eyewear detects COVID-19, will ‘save’ America

SAN FRANCISCO – a popular brand of augmented eyewear may soon save lives, and the economy, through a filter that allows viewers to see the novel coronavirus in air and on surfaces, according to company developers.

Representatives from Rocket & Gamble insisted on an in-person meeting with members of the press this week during which they demonstrated the new feature of their signature product. Radicals — sunglasses that already allow users to conduct retinal scans, Internet searches, and see people naked – now also have the ability to detect the slightest trace of COVID-19, which appears as an ‘ecto-green haze’ to anyone who wears the lenses.

The result, according to chief executive officer Jeremiah Toshito, is a preventative and affordable method for society to circumvent the worst health and financial costs of the pandemic.

“Our upgraded eyewear will let people venture forth from their homes, return to school and work, and resume normal lives with confidence,” said Toshito. “Pretty radical, indeed.”

Toshito asked reporters to remove their face masks as he donned a pair of the shades and scanned the company auditorium in which they were gathered.

Tech blogger Chuck Shaw tries on a pair of Radicals and describes them as ‘cool.’

“Unfortunately, not all of you will be able to try on our glasses today,” said Toshito, pointing at three reporters scattered in the crowd. “I’m going to have to ask you to put on your face masks and leave. No need to see a doctor, unless your symptoms progress. Consider yourselves diagnosed.”

The three reporters, with looks of astonishment, vacated the auditorium, although one insisted he ‘felt fine’ as he stormed away with a cough.

The twelve remaining members of the press each had an opportunity to try on the Radicals and examine the traces of COVID-19 still floating in the air and lingering on surfaces.

“Cool, dude,” one reporter said.

Toshito explained that he hopes to maintain Radicals current price of $800 per pair and open dozens of ‘micro- factories’ in cities across the United States where millions of people will be employed earning a high hourly wage to produce and sell the lucrative eyewear.

“It’s time for high-quality products to be made in America again,” said Toshito. “Until there is a proven vaccine for this virus, at least there is a way to get people working without fear in high-demand, high-tech jobs. The country coming out of this crisis will be better suited to lead itself and the world, politically and economically, than the one that existed before it started.

“You’ll see — an America that evolves is the best America of all.”

Allison Shaffer, April 11, 2020

Categories: Environment & Health

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 replies


  1. Robo cops to the rescue? City hall discusses police reform – The La-La Lander
  2. Bar soap helps users ‘escape’ constraints of pandemic lifestyle – The La-La Lander

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  WriteForKids - Writing Children's Books

Become a published children's book author via books, ebooks and apps.

Samira's Notebook

My Everyday Life and My Favourite Everything

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

J. I. Rogers - Author

Dystopian - Science Fiction - Cyberpunk

Writing and other stuff

a sporadic account of things that matter to me.


"Find what you love and let it kill you." – Charles Bukowski

GamerGirls & Guns

GamerGirls & Guns

Dab of Darkness Book Reviews

Audiobook reviews, Interviews, Giveaways, More


Wyrd Wanderers - an eclectic mix of reflections, writings, etc. - whatever interests me


Your Source For The Coolest Science Stories

Grady P Brown - Author

Superheroes - Autism - Fantasy - Science Fiction

The Dystopian Nation of City-State

A cruel, futuristic vision created by science fiction authors James Courtney and Kaisy Wilkerson-Mills. ©2013-2016. All Rights Reserved. All writings available through Amazon.


Manushaqe Muco's Blog


Telling Tall Tales Together ...

A Matter of Scale

Science & technology commentary

%d bloggers like this: